Thursday, September 10, 2009

11 second club september entry WIP (storytelling poses)



hi guys this is my first post here! well this is sumtin i've been trying to block for the 11 second club september entry. i'm a li'l lost here and there... esp in the gap between "missy" and "WHO DO U THINK...", the acting comes to a stop. cud u suggest me a li'l sumtin?

i hope the gag is clear! i'm planning to have his huge photograph in the frame hanging on the wall to make things obvious!
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6 comments:

  1. Karan3DSeptember 11, 2009 at 8:13 AM

    Nice acting , I would change some posese though. Try giving her more bossy attitude, I like the end. Its nice. Keep posting

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  2. DamodarSeptember 12, 2009 at 1:23 AM

    yes i ALSO THINK U SHOULD IMPROVE POSES A BIT..

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  3. AnandSeptember 12, 2009 at 8:47 PM

    Looks like she is genuinely with the dialog till before she looks left. Some more acting to show that she is imitating will add more to this piece. May be a little "check if there is someone around" before she starts the dialogue , like that.

    And she looks left(at the boss) without a reason, you could merge the "turn to look" with the dialogue, may be when she finishes,"...talking ..to.." . Lot of scope for acting in this piece, ROCK ON

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  4. DapoonSeptember 13, 2009 at 9:22 PM

    hey guys thanks so much for ur prompt valuable comments. i've taken this piece to the first pass now.

    @karan and dam, sure i'll try pushing the poses!!

    @anand, hi there! i really loved ur suggestion of making her look left as she's abt to finish her sentence. that's something really tempting to try out!
    however i DELIBERATELY didnt want her to look like she's imitating her boss in the beginning, cuz i REALLY want the audience to think that she IS the boss. if the audience even slightly guesses she's just imitating, i believe it's no fun when the end is revealed. infact the gag might become predictable.
    just a thought though...

    thanks for the suggestions once again guys!! i'll try and finish it up soon now!

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  5. AnandSeptember 14, 2009 at 9:10 AM

    Hey.. Cool, if you wanted it that way.

    The camera move here is bit rusty.Its neither a swish pan or a zoom out and falls somewhere inbetween. You can get away with a simple CUT rather than a move. Try a CUT, you will like it.. :-) ... Cheers..

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  6. NaithikSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:02 AM

    hey Dapoon,
    Just wanted to suggest somethings.
    You better increase the size of the "out for lunch " board.As the size of the video is small,people might not be able to read it.

    And the idea of a boss having his own picture in his office seems a little forcible.Like you are trying to make it very obvious for the viewer.
    Rest is superb

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